im so tired when i type this following post, so don't mind the caps, yeah?

if you have heard this too many times before, yeah, i guess my life is a circle. trying to breakthrough, do something new. but then i realize i've got no map.

all i want is to have someone who cheers me up, who makes me smile when all i want to do is just die inside. is it that hard to do that just for me, just for a day? tell me you're happy when you see me smile.

they say you should keep a smile and go crazy for people to love you. i don't care. i will make you love me no matter what state i am.

you know why i hate assignments? no, not because it's got a deadline, or because it's tough, or i have run out of ideas. i hate it cause when it arrives, you know your time is limited to conversations in a room, conversations about assignments, not conversations of "how's your day", and "what can i do for your today?". no time to joke around, no time to sit by anyone and just look at each other. but time to stare at the computer and sucked into our own world.

i live on relationships, on communications, on jokes, on smiles, on accidental friendships, on hugs, on crushes, on warmth, on eyes, on laughters, and on affection. without these, i will be dead.

i am not afraid of people touching me anymore. but i dislike the after effects when the one who touched me is not there, and i feel double the monochrome.

and when everyone got their own stuff to deal with, i disappear.

i love to be the joker of the day. but man, can i take leave just for a while and have someone else take the limelight, and entertain me instead?

let's take turns. cause too much attention on me is making me feel icky. let it be on you, take the stage, and let me smile because of you.

sometimes its like a joke to me. for someone else to expect me to smile and be happy all the time. there's a beauty in my sadness, my weakness, my desperation and my rage.

hell, we are e' same.

im so tired when i type this following post, so don't mind the caps, yeah?

if you have heard this too many times before, yeah, i guess my life is a circle. trying to breakthrough, do something new. but then i realize i've got no map.

all i want is to have someone who cheers me up, who makes me smile when all i want to do is just die inside. is it that hard to do that just for me, just for a day? tell me you're happy when you see me smile.

they say you should keep a smile and go crazy for people to love you. i don't care. i will make you love me no matter what state i am.

you know why i hate assignments? no, not because it's got a deadline, or because it's tough, or i have run out of ideas. i hate it cause when it arrives, you know your time is limited to conversations in a room, conversations about assignments, not conversations of "how's your day", and "what can i do for your today?". no time to joke around, no time to sit by anyone and just look at each other. but time to stare at the computer and sucked into our own world.

i live on relationships, on communications, on jokes, on smiles, on accidental friendships, on hugs, on crushes, on warmth, on eyes, on laughters, and on affection. without these, i will be dead.

i am not afraid of people touching me anymore. but i dislike the after effects when the one who touched me is not there, and i feel double the monochrome.

and when everyone got their own stuff to deal with, i disappear.

i love to be the joker of the day. but man, can i take leave just for a while and have someone else take the limelight, and entertain me instead?

let's take turns. cause too much attention on me is making me feel icky. let it be on you, take the stage, and let me smile because of you.

sometimes its like a joke to me. for someone else to expect me to smile and be happy all the time. there's a beauty in my sadness, my weakness, my desperation and my rage.

hell, we are e' same.