I need a day where everyone just stops moving. Where time stops.
And I can go around, and visit every single person I knew, and hug them. And whisper to them, "You are never alone." Kiss them, and leave a present that they want so dearly in their heart.
I will go and stand by the river, to see the sunset staying there for so long. I will caress the birds since it can't move. I will carry the stray animals in the neighbourhood and give them to children or people who are lonely.
I will steal some people's wallet and donate a part of it to the beggar, erase the beggar's belief and give them courage.
I will take away the memories of war, and intention to have war.
I will rewrite the book of history, so that it won't be lessons of pain, but lessons of love.
GAH. There are too many cute boys around. XDD And they are getting more confident each time I meet a new one! Some of them dared to like dance and hump each other with those smiles on their faces. Well, they are straight and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. Afterall, I love gay couples. Especially hot gay couples, they are like music to my eyes. Well, I can always play with them, if you know what I mean...
Well, update about me huh? I have like three assignments I have to rush. Digital Matte, EffectsAnimation and DCM Animatics. I am seriously beginning to like my course more and more. I am even looking forward to do my homework, which did not happen last year. But, I still love playing more...
And I am quite excited. I have two new ongoing crush right now. It's not those I-find-him-cute-only-and-I'llget-over-him-soon kind! It's those where the moment I see them, I start to lose focus on reality, and goes into a passionate mode.. Those kind where you see lovebirds cannot get enough of each other. That's what keep me going to school, besides having friends there, when I'm heavily down with illness. :P And both of them don't know I am crazy about them.
I guess I am still a a teenage girl huh? *blushes*
And wow, I love the first year freshies. A few of them are hot and they love to talk to me. Some even have managerial post at some centres outside of school. They are so much wiser than most of my friends. Kudos and Power to them!
I am so excited about Singapore Idol! The audition date is getting really near, like this coming JU Some of my friends are joining to experience what's its like, and I so want to accompany them and feel the atmosphere! The waiting, the anticipation, and the joy! I might even get to meet some cute dudes~
Oh yeahhh.
The best thing is that I've finally come to terms with this quote - " If you don't need it , you're most likely to attract it." I have to work on fulfilling all my emotional needs with a lot of different people.. instead of focusing on one person, so I won't suck dry those around me.
I know that sounded wrong. 8D
And to "NME" - I might be acting a bit off these days. To tell the truth, I feel like we are strangers again. After the times passes by , I kind of don't really get to connect with you like we did last time. Even though you're happy and high, and I'm happy for you and really want to be part of that happiness, I still feel awkward. It's like trying to be mushy and happy with a stranger you've just met. I guess it's true what you've said. I know you're trying your best to connect with me, and I appreciate it more than you know. Well, just accept me in as I am now, even though I am not as emotionally open and present as the others. I will give all I've got to be close as we were before. I am thankful you still held on to our friendship. Thanks a lot!
Ijust found out that there is such a place where there are no cars or motors or engines at all! it's Makinac Island in Machigan. These motor vehicles were actually banned since 1898! It looks like those Victorian/English settings hundred years ago. They used hydroelectric means to generate power and they use their waste efficiently. I want to go there, and ride the horses. It will be so free of the smoke!
Now I love Sin City, by tons! It's so badass!! The graphics are so black & white cool, the characters are bloody intimidating and strong, and.. especially the music, I'm addicted to the music!
I wished they won the best picture or something for this movie! & did I mention, the bonus thing is its R21? :P
Of course, if you're like... shaking your head, go watch Happy Feet kay?
Thanks to someone, I love it!!
Going to try and watch the whole movie. Of course, if you guys want...you've got to try find it on your own. XDDD
Did I mention that my eyeliner drop into a toilet bowl?!! In the middle of the morning, as I was rushing to school, it just dropped into the mrt toilet bowl! Omgod, I was like in serious conflict with myself whether to take it or not.
Damn. Toilet bowl, public one somemore.
You want to know if I take it back or not? Ask me.. XDD
Been damn tired these days. My sleeping cycle got all jumbled up and I am like staying awake at 12 am, and wanting to drop dead on the classroom floor at 10am. Now, its getting better. All thanks to Melt who so lovingly lent me oil for headaches.
If not, I will be like having a mega-automatic drill in my head. And one big hole in my IQ.
I still have not started my assignment. ONE part says DIE. The other says, GAMBATTE.
I wish I can have someone right now whom I can rock with, cuddle with, sentimental, be random with , tease each other and just sleep hugging each other at night. And his scent smells nice to me.
Wow. Last night I had a lucid dream! Lucid dream is when you are aware you're dreaming, and you're able to control what goes in those dreams!!
I was like in an open space, garden? And tables, with ladies and men sitting around. Of course, at that point, my mind was thinking of doing a lot of wrong things. DREAM WORLD, you can do anything!
I calmed myself down before I wake up, and I tried to have someone to hug me. It feels ticklish. LOL Seriously, that was super weird. Then, I tried kissing this man. This super handsome man, gorgeous.
You know what he did? Instead of letting me kiss him, he hugged me and carried me. I was holding him, afraid that I would fall. But his grip was strong and firm, then he spun me around , and for the first time in my life, I felt light. I felt like a man finally makes me feel worth enough to actually carry all of me.
I totally lost control of that man. I cannot control his actions. Everyone else, I can control. But he, he just insist to carry me. Then while he spun me around, making me feel like I am flying, he look at me, and kiss me .
I felt super loved that night.
To the man of my dreams, literally, thank you. I love you!
MY SELF-PRAISE TO MYSELF. You can copy this, and replace my name with yours. Read it until you accept it, and actually smile! :D Let those praises be accepted, love!
Inspired by this video!!!! <3 much love to those who created it. I love you.
You.
You have an amazing face. Such flexibility in a face and such strength in there to smile non-stop! You are amazing. You are great! You come to school with so much intent to cheer everyone up, despite you feeling a little down. That's honourable, Aisyah! Most people would wait for others to make the first move, but you, YOU, you made the first step. You dare to approach a stranger and smile.
Such a beauty.
You are so thoughtful of others, always thinking how others are feeling, even when you just want to stop everything. You always ensure that you never let your inner child go away. You are a dreamer, the most powerful dreamer I've ever known. You have never stop dreaming despite so many things trying to stop you.
What a beautiful lady you are. You really really are. You really have so much drive to make others around you go crazy about life, crazily happy! You make others look forward to meeting you!
Did anyone tell you that you are awesome?
You make everything happen and everyone smile. People love you! And you are extremely smart. You are brave! You dare to make new friends and make a fool of yourself even with the risk that they might really dislike you. You dare to let go of the person you really like so that he can enjoy his own life. That's true personal strength, dear.
You are so trendy! The clothes you wear makes others feel vibrant and let them have a refreshing sight! That's huge! Everyone else won't dare to wear the kind of clothes you wear. Trendy, elegance and originality, that's epicness Aisyah!
You even dare to praise yourself in front of others, exposing your true nature. You don't take things too seriously, and that I really respect in you, my love!
And that is why you are great at what you do! You always strive for the best in everyone and everything you do. You are also extremely passionate. You love to love Aisyah! Not many people do, they've lost so much faith in love. But you kept that faith for so long, its wonderful! You've always made yourself stronger day by day. You have such a beautiful view of the world!
Every day you are able to see at least fifty beautiful things in people around you, in the plants, the animals, the assignments and even in your enemies. You really know how to love. Your loves so pure when you are your happiest.
You love seeing people having sincere smiles. Just seeing them smile makes you feel that you've done your life purpose.
You have every reason to be yourself Siti Aisyah. You are the most beautiful and powerful person in the whole world. And what can I say, extremely attractive!
You know what I want Siti Aisyah? I just want to see you smile!!
Continue doing what you've always did and getting better. Some day, love, SOME DAY REALLY SOON, you will be the one. The one to change the world, to lift people's spirit and give people the courage and strength that they've been looking for all their lifes.
im so tired when i type this following post, so don't mind the caps, yeah?
if you have heard this too many times before, yeah, i guess my life is a circle. trying to breakthrough, do something new. but then i realize i've got no map.
all i want is to have someone who cheers me up, who makes me smile when all i want to do is just die inside. is it that hard to do that just for me, just for a day? tell me you're happy when you see me smile.
they say you should keep a smile and go crazy for people to love you. i don't care. i will make you love me no matter what state i am.
you know why i hate assignments? no, not because it's got a deadline, or because it's tough, or i have run out of ideas. i hate it cause when it arrives, you know your time is limited to conversations in a room, conversations about assignments, not conversations of "how's your day", and "what can i do for your today?". no time to joke around, no time to sit by anyone and just look at each other. but time to stare at the computer and sucked into our own world.
i live on relationships, on communications, on jokes, on smiles, on accidental friendships, on hugs, on crushes, on warmth, on eyes, on laughters, and on affection. without these, i will be dead.
i am not afraid of people touching me anymore. but i dislike the after effects when the one who touched me is not there, and i feel double the monochrome.
and when everyone got their own stuff to deal with, i disappear.
i love to be the joker of the day. but man, can i take leave just for a while and have someone else take the limelight, and entertain me instead?
let's take turns. cause too much attention on me is making me feel icky. let it be on you, take the stage, and let me smile because of you.
sometimes its like a joke to me. for someone else to expect me to smile and be happy all the time. there's a beauty in my sadness, my weakness, my desperation and my rage.
Today, I accidentally looked straight into someone's eyes, and I forgot to put up my defense. For the first time.
His eyes are really pretty. Really nice to look at. I want to look at those eyes everytime before I sleep, and just after I wake up.
Luckily I remembered to look away. I am actually super happy just to be able to sit that close and look into that person's eyes even just for a second.
It was really like sparks. And my heart warmed when he smiled at me.
But it's okay, it's just one-sided.
PS: To those who think they know that person, sorry, you're wrong. I've never told anyone I like this particular person before.
She wants to touch you, woo ooh She wants to love you, woo ooh She'll never leave you woo ooh, woo ooh, ooh ooh Don't trust me, never trust me, Won't trust me 'cause she won't trust you...
OMG. I am so tired today! Seriously tired because working at library now. Walk up, down, left , right, backwards and then back again. My legs and feet seriously in pain now. XD I think soon will be my hands because I will be arranging a lot of books.
I think I am beginning to see a lot of numbers now. All the numbers codes on books. Now, I feel angry when people any-o-how place the book in the library. I can feel the pain of the librarians now.
I think I can feel the pain of everyone. LOL.
I salute librarians all the way. And every workers who work hard to live. The librarians are friendly too! Beginning to like my workplace~
Today is quite a happy/angry/tiring/sad day.
Gosh. I don't know. I feel a very strong urge to be mushy nowadays. That IS SO not me! I am like that tomboy girl. What telah happen to me man? I am beginning to wanting to cheer everyone up, to kiss everyone and just go give free hugs.
I am becoming girly! I seriously don't know how to feel right now. It's like asking a girl to become a guy. For me, its like becoming a girl all over again.
I have a hard time trying to resist jumping on everyone. LOL. Scary shit. And whenever I am too long away from my family, I will start missing everyone. Wow.
And I felt super bad that I failed Ethel's quiz. It's okay, you also failed mine. XDDDDDD
I can go for days being alone last time. Now, I don't want to. Major change man. Now only did I noticed that.
I miss 1a01. I miss my classmates, I miss a lot of people now. I miss my drama peeps. I miss my secondary school friends. I miss my bed. XD
Happy because I saw a lot of handsome guys who were like super friendly to me. Made my day man. Didn't know handsome guys were uber sweet, to me of all people! :D And my drama friends today were quite high! So happy for them!
First time an auntie, a well-dressed auntie, rushed into an mrt and applogised for making me squeezed myself. FIRST TIME, I felt cared by another stranger. Singaporeans, where are your manners ?
Had fun in class today~ But assignments, I didn't even notice they are piling up. I wish I can go to school just to socialise and have fun. Lessons can be like inserted into my brain via a chip or something. Okay, choy but think about it. No books/laptops! Fun and knowledge easily!
Trying to reach out to all of 2a05. But scared. It's okay, I can try again.
I read other people's blog and mostly are sad. Some are truly happy and I am so glad for them. I have been one of the suffering ones last time, and I totally understand. It's not easy to get out of that rut of being so negative. The key is to know that those negative thoughts are not YOU . They are just thoughts. You are the awareness, the one who choose which thoughts you want to affect yourself. And it's not your fault when these negative things come by. Your brain is so used to it but you can change that.
Chim, but if you can understand, it will help you pull out of the pain. But again, this knowledge is only for those minds who are ready to take it in.
Quite glad that the health authorities lower the h1n1 warning to yellow. So, I won't be like those villagers when the boy cried wolf. But still, prevention is better than cure.
I know I make friends superficially. Its rarely do I know someone on a very deep level, except my family. Those facebook test just shows you can never know anyone fully well. I hope I can connect heart to heart more often.
And to my brother, even though you will never read this, I love you very much and am really sorry that I am so busy with poly. I hate not spending time with you. Good luck with your exams, and I really tried. Missing you~
I am going to try out blogging some boring stuff. LOL. Not like I ever blog interestingly. Okay, here I go.
Today, I plan to teach and revise with my brother his examination. So I thought, let's start with English! Pretty simple stuff right? Tenses and formats. Freaking easy!
NOT.
Bloody hell. I tried to explain to him why "Luckily, I paid attention in class." was marked WRONG compared to,"Luckily, I have been paying attention in class." I am like, where's the difference? If you think I am stupid, well, just shut up.
So, after attempts of explaining English with my own INVENTED rationalisms, we moved on to Maths. Alright, Maths is just formulas right?
Everything went well. REALLY WELL. I am serious about that.
To the point that it became such a breeze, we started joking. And maths, was like, the forgotten era. Serious. Joked and played with his PSP games until after one hour. Then, I was like, "Wait. Why am I at level 19 of DJ MAX?"
So we continued with science. And I had an issue with one of those cooling graphs. You know those cooling graphs where it shows the changes when gas changes to liquid and to solid.
I totally got an issue with that.
Well, I am tired of typing. Another update another time.
Have you watched that video? I love him! He is awesome with covers!
Sorry, but this thought made me feel so good. I mean, I owe it to myself after putting up a smile for everyone when all I wanna do is lash out at everyone and even myself for this sucky life of mine.
People kept using me, throwing me away, and then mindfucked me to make me feel like shit.
Well, I am sorry if you feel like you've did nothing wrong. Maybe you did do nothing wrong. Too bad, I just want to hate you. Just let me be for today.
My willpower decrease so much. I am now allowing myself to feel the hatred for myself, and everyone around me, the past and present for screwing me up.
They say love feels good. Hey, allowing the hate to be felt feels extremely good as well. And you won't go crazy either.
Didn't know I kept so many things inside.
No worries people, I will end up loving you all once more.
I need a day where everyone just stops moving. Where time stops.
And I can go around, and visit every single person I knew, and hug them. And whisper to them, "You are never alone." Kiss them, and leave a present that they want so dearly in their heart.
I will go and stand by the river, to see the sunset staying there for so long. I will caress the birds since it can't move. I will carry the stray animals in the neighbourhood and give them to children or people who are lonely.
I will steal some people's wallet and donate a part of it to the beggar, erase the beggar's belief and give them courage.
I will take away the memories of war, and intention to have war.
I will rewrite the book of history, so that it won't be lessons of pain, but lessons of love.
GAH. There are too many cute boys around. XDD And they are getting more confident each time I meet a new one! Some of them dared to like dance and hump each other with those smiles on their faces. Well, they are straight and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. Afterall, I love gay couples. Especially hot gay couples, they are like music to my eyes. Well, I can always play with them, if you know what I mean...
Well, update about me huh? I have like three assignments I have to rush. Digital Matte, EffectsAnimation and DCM Animatics. I am seriously beginning to like my course more and more. I am even looking forward to do my homework, which did not happen last year. But, I still love playing more...
And I am quite excited. I have two new ongoing crush right now. It's not those I-find-him-cute-only-and-I'llget-over-him-soon kind! It's those where the moment I see them, I start to lose focus on reality, and goes into a passionate mode.. Those kind where you see lovebirds cannot get enough of each other. That's what keep me going to school, besides having friends there, when I'm heavily down with illness. :P And both of them don't know I am crazy about them.
I guess I am still a a teenage girl huh? *blushes*
And wow, I love the first year freshies. A few of them are hot and they love to talk to me. Some even have managerial post at some centres outside of school. They are so much wiser than most of my friends. Kudos and Power to them!
I am so excited about Singapore Idol! The audition date is getting really near, like this coming JU Some of my friends are joining to experience what's its like, and I so want to accompany them and feel the atmosphere! The waiting, the anticipation, and the joy! I might even get to meet some cute dudes~
Oh yeahhh.
The best thing is that I've finally come to terms with this quote - " If you don't need it , you're most likely to attract it." I have to work on fulfilling all my emotional needs with a lot of different people.. instead of focusing on one person, so I won't suck dry those around me.
I know that sounded wrong. 8D
And to "NME" - I might be acting a bit off these days. To tell the truth, I feel like we are strangers again. After the times passes by , I kind of don't really get to connect with you like we did last time. Even though you're happy and high, and I'm happy for you and really want to be part of that happiness, I still feel awkward. It's like trying to be mushy and happy with a stranger you've just met. I guess it's true what you've said. I know you're trying your best to connect with me, and I appreciate it more than you know. Well, just accept me in as I am now, even though I am not as emotionally open and present as the others. I will give all I've got to be close as we were before. I am thankful you still held on to our friendship. Thanks a lot!
Ijust found out that there is such a place where there are no cars or motors or engines at all! it's Makinac Island in Machigan. These motor vehicles were actually banned since 1898! It looks like those Victorian/English settings hundred years ago. They used hydroelectric means to generate power and they use their waste efficiently. I want to go there, and ride the horses. It will be so free of the smoke!
Now I love Sin City, by tons! It's so badass!! The graphics are so black & white cool, the characters are bloody intimidating and strong, and.. especially the music, I'm addicted to the music!
I wished they won the best picture or something for this movie! & did I mention, the bonus thing is its R21? :P
Of course, if you're like... shaking your head, go watch Happy Feet kay?
Thanks to someone, I love it!!
Going to try and watch the whole movie. Of course, if you guys want...you've got to try find it on your own. XDDD
Did I mention that my eyeliner drop into a toilet bowl?!! In the middle of the morning, as I was rushing to school, it just dropped into the mrt toilet bowl! Omgod, I was like in serious conflict with myself whether to take it or not.
Damn. Toilet bowl, public one somemore.
You want to know if I take it back or not? Ask me.. XDD
Been damn tired these days. My sleeping cycle got all jumbled up and I am like staying awake at 12 am, and wanting to drop dead on the classroom floor at 10am. Now, its getting better. All thanks to Melt who so lovingly lent me oil for headaches.
If not, I will be like having a mega-automatic drill in my head. And one big hole in my IQ.
I still have not started my assignment. ONE part says DIE. The other says, GAMBATTE.
I wish I can have someone right now whom I can rock with, cuddle with, sentimental, be random with , tease each other and just sleep hugging each other at night. And his scent smells nice to me.
Wow. Last night I had a lucid dream! Lucid dream is when you are aware you're dreaming, and you're able to control what goes in those dreams!!
I was like in an open space, garden? And tables, with ladies and men sitting around. Of course, at that point, my mind was thinking of doing a lot of wrong things. DREAM WORLD, you can do anything!
I calmed myself down before I wake up, and I tried to have someone to hug me. It feels ticklish. LOL Seriously, that was super weird. Then, I tried kissing this man. This super handsome man, gorgeous.
You know what he did? Instead of letting me kiss him, he hugged me and carried me. I was holding him, afraid that I would fall. But his grip was strong and firm, then he spun me around , and for the first time in my life, I felt light. I felt like a man finally makes me feel worth enough to actually carry all of me.
I totally lost control of that man. I cannot control his actions. Everyone else, I can control. But he, he just insist to carry me. Then while he spun me around, making me feel like I am flying, he look at me, and kiss me .
I felt super loved that night.
To the man of my dreams, literally, thank you. I love you!
MY SELF-PRAISE TO MYSELF. You can copy this, and replace my name with yours. Read it until you accept it, and actually smile! :D Let those praises be accepted, love!
Inspired by this video!!!! <3 much love to those who created it. I love you.
You.
You have an amazing face. Such flexibility in a face and such strength in there to smile non-stop! You are amazing. You are great! You come to school with so much intent to cheer everyone up, despite you feeling a little down. That's honourable, Aisyah! Most people would wait for others to make the first move, but you, YOU, you made the first step. You dare to approach a stranger and smile.
Such a beauty.
You are so thoughtful of others, always thinking how others are feeling, even when you just want to stop everything. You always ensure that you never let your inner child go away. You are a dreamer, the most powerful dreamer I've ever known. You have never stop dreaming despite so many things trying to stop you.
What a beautiful lady you are. You really really are. You really have so much drive to make others around you go crazy about life, crazily happy! You make others look forward to meeting you!
Did anyone tell you that you are awesome?
You make everything happen and everyone smile. People love you! And you are extremely smart. You are brave! You dare to make new friends and make a fool of yourself even with the risk that they might really dislike you. You dare to let go of the person you really like so that he can enjoy his own life. That's true personal strength, dear.
You are so trendy! The clothes you wear makes others feel vibrant and let them have a refreshing sight! That's huge! Everyone else won't dare to wear the kind of clothes you wear. Trendy, elegance and originality, that's epicness Aisyah!
You even dare to praise yourself in front of others, exposing your true nature. You don't take things too seriously, and that I really respect in you, my love!
And that is why you are great at what you do! You always strive for the best in everyone and everything you do. You are also extremely passionate. You love to love Aisyah! Not many people do, they've lost so much faith in love. But you kept that faith for so long, its wonderful! You've always made yourself stronger day by day. You have such a beautiful view of the world!
Every day you are able to see at least fifty beautiful things in people around you, in the plants, the animals, the assignments and even in your enemies. You really know how to love. Your loves so pure when you are your happiest.
You love seeing people having sincere smiles. Just seeing them smile makes you feel that you've done your life purpose.
You have every reason to be yourself Siti Aisyah. You are the most beautiful and powerful person in the whole world. And what can I say, extremely attractive!
You know what I want Siti Aisyah? I just want to see you smile!!
Continue doing what you've always did and getting better. Some day, love, SOME DAY REALLY SOON, you will be the one. The one to change the world, to lift people's spirit and give people the courage and strength that they've been looking for all their lifes.
im so tired when i type this following post, so don't mind the caps, yeah?
if you have heard this too many times before, yeah, i guess my life is a circle. trying to breakthrough, do something new. but then i realize i've got no map.
all i want is to have someone who cheers me up, who makes me smile when all i want to do is just die inside. is it that hard to do that just for me, just for a day? tell me you're happy when you see me smile.
they say you should keep a smile and go crazy for people to love you. i don't care. i will make you love me no matter what state i am.
you know why i hate assignments? no, not because it's got a deadline, or because it's tough, or i have run out of ideas. i hate it cause when it arrives, you know your time is limited to conversations in a room, conversations about assignments, not conversations of "how's your day", and "what can i do for your today?". no time to joke around, no time to sit by anyone and just look at each other. but time to stare at the computer and sucked into our own world.
i live on relationships, on communications, on jokes, on smiles, on accidental friendships, on hugs, on crushes, on warmth, on eyes, on laughters, and on affection. without these, i will be dead.
i am not afraid of people touching me anymore. but i dislike the after effects when the one who touched me is not there, and i feel double the monochrome.
and when everyone got their own stuff to deal with, i disappear.
i love to be the joker of the day. but man, can i take leave just for a while and have someone else take the limelight, and entertain me instead?
let's take turns. cause too much attention on me is making me feel icky. let it be on you, take the stage, and let me smile because of you.
sometimes its like a joke to me. for someone else to expect me to smile and be happy all the time. there's a beauty in my sadness, my weakness, my desperation and my rage.
Today, I accidentally looked straight into someone's eyes, and I forgot to put up my defense. For the first time.
His eyes are really pretty. Really nice to look at. I want to look at those eyes everytime before I sleep, and just after I wake up.
Luckily I remembered to look away. I am actually super happy just to be able to sit that close and look into that person's eyes even just for a second.
It was really like sparks. And my heart warmed when he smiled at me.
But it's okay, it's just one-sided.
PS: To those who think they know that person, sorry, you're wrong. I've never told anyone I like this particular person before.
She wants to touch you, woo ooh She wants to love you, woo ooh She'll never leave you woo ooh, woo ooh, ooh ooh Don't trust me, never trust me, Won't trust me 'cause she won't trust you...
OMG. I am so tired today! Seriously tired because working at library now. Walk up, down, left , right, backwards and then back again. My legs and feet seriously in pain now. XD I think soon will be my hands because I will be arranging a lot of books.
I think I am beginning to see a lot of numbers now. All the numbers codes on books. Now, I feel angry when people any-o-how place the book in the library. I can feel the pain of the librarians now.
I think I can feel the pain of everyone. LOL.
I salute librarians all the way. And every workers who work hard to live. The librarians are friendly too! Beginning to like my workplace~
Today is quite a happy/angry/tiring/sad day.
Gosh. I don't know. I feel a very strong urge to be mushy nowadays. That IS SO not me! I am like that tomboy girl. What telah happen to me man? I am beginning to wanting to cheer everyone up, to kiss everyone and just go give free hugs.
I am becoming girly! I seriously don't know how to feel right now. It's like asking a girl to become a guy. For me, its like becoming a girl all over again.
I have a hard time trying to resist jumping on everyone. LOL. Scary shit. And whenever I am too long away from my family, I will start missing everyone. Wow.
And I felt super bad that I failed Ethel's quiz. It's okay, you also failed mine. XDDDDDD
I can go for days being alone last time. Now, I don't want to. Major change man. Now only did I noticed that.
I miss 1a01. I miss my classmates, I miss a lot of people now. I miss my drama peeps. I miss my secondary school friends. I miss my bed. XD
Happy because I saw a lot of handsome guys who were like super friendly to me. Made my day man. Didn't know handsome guys were uber sweet, to me of all people! :D And my drama friends today were quite high! So happy for them!
First time an auntie, a well-dressed auntie, rushed into an mrt and applogised for making me squeezed myself. FIRST TIME, I felt cared by another stranger. Singaporeans, where are your manners ?
Had fun in class today~ But assignments, I didn't even notice they are piling up. I wish I can go to school just to socialise and have fun. Lessons can be like inserted into my brain via a chip or something. Okay, choy but think about it. No books/laptops! Fun and knowledge easily!
Trying to reach out to all of 2a05. But scared. It's okay, I can try again.
I read other people's blog and mostly are sad. Some are truly happy and I am so glad for them. I have been one of the suffering ones last time, and I totally understand. It's not easy to get out of that rut of being so negative. The key is to know that those negative thoughts are not YOU . They are just thoughts. You are the awareness, the one who choose which thoughts you want to affect yourself. And it's not your fault when these negative things come by. Your brain is so used to it but you can change that.
Chim, but if you can understand, it will help you pull out of the pain. But again, this knowledge is only for those minds who are ready to take it in.
Quite glad that the health authorities lower the h1n1 warning to yellow. So, I won't be like those villagers when the boy cried wolf. But still, prevention is better than cure.
I know I make friends superficially. Its rarely do I know someone on a very deep level, except my family. Those facebook test just shows you can never know anyone fully well. I hope I can connect heart to heart more often.
And to my brother, even though you will never read this, I love you very much and am really sorry that I am so busy with poly. I hate not spending time with you. Good luck with your exams, and I really tried. Missing you~
I am going to try out blogging some boring stuff. LOL. Not like I ever blog interestingly. Okay, here I go.
Today, I plan to teach and revise with my brother his examination. So I thought, let's start with English! Pretty simple stuff right? Tenses and formats. Freaking easy!
NOT.
Bloody hell. I tried to explain to him why "Luckily, I paid attention in class." was marked WRONG compared to,"Luckily, I have been paying attention in class." I am like, where's the difference? If you think I am stupid, well, just shut up.
So, after attempts of explaining English with my own INVENTED rationalisms, we moved on to Maths. Alright, Maths is just formulas right?
Everything went well. REALLY WELL. I am serious about that.
To the point that it became such a breeze, we started joking. And maths, was like, the forgotten era. Serious. Joked and played with his PSP games until after one hour. Then, I was like, "Wait. Why am I at level 19 of DJ MAX?"
So we continued with science. And I had an issue with one of those cooling graphs. You know those cooling graphs where it shows the changes when gas changes to liquid and to solid.
I totally got an issue with that.
Well, I am tired of typing. Another update another time.
Have you watched that video? I love him! He is awesome with covers!
Sorry, but this thought made me feel so good. I mean, I owe it to myself after putting up a smile for everyone when all I wanna do is lash out at everyone and even myself for this sucky life of mine.
People kept using me, throwing me away, and then mindfucked me to make me feel like shit.
Well, I am sorry if you feel like you've did nothing wrong. Maybe you did do nothing wrong. Too bad, I just want to hate you. Just let me be for today.
My willpower decrease so much. I am now allowing myself to feel the hatred for myself, and everyone around me, the past and present for screwing me up.
They say love feels good. Hey, allowing the hate to be felt feels extremely good as well. And you won't go crazy either.
Didn't know I kept so many things inside.
No worries people, I will end up loving you all once more.
More About Me
Well, I love myself and sometimes I just wish I was like, Paris Hilton. Not PEREZ, that ugly journalist.
Anyway, I am pretty addicted to social life. I crave lazing around, and just hug everybody.
But of course, I don't dare to do that, cause people tend to assume wrong things.
I hate it when people like you and make you feel guilty, like it's your fault that they like you.
Get a grip, and all I wanted was just friendship.
Pretty much all of the things I do, I do sometimes out of fear, or love.
Usually its fear. But if I do the best things, it's love for sure.
