Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back. Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
I'm taking the drug again. His lips, Red-hot and dewy. Reflecting the moonlight, Mashing up my memories, Smashing my conscience into million smithereens.
Gashes re-bleed, but I am empty. A slash for a kiss, seems fair.
PEOPLE SELLING GREEN PLAIN TANK TOP, PLEASE TAG ME. Thanks!
Its a really cute video of people smiling! Made my day. AND the class outing is hilarious!
:) Misses to those that never come~
I think some people hate me already. XD
I wanted to buy milo. The whole group then suggested NTUC. I said, "No, I want McDonald kind!" They say " Okay, lets go NTUC!" I said, "No, MAC!" They: "Milo right? NTUC lah!" I said: MAC Milo! Ethel: NTUC got a lot of packet packet one.
:D
Then I wait until everyone go to NTUC before I blurt out, ME: I want MacDonald Milo. They: OHHHH..
XD.
They had to go all the way out, and up and down just to get my milo.
Sorry! & Thanks guys! <3> Woman: If you don't want to watch the movie, you can get out of here. The Bastards: *silence*
A few moments later, they are giggling. Sometimes I wonder if boys can be bimbos.
Bird bird keep protecting himself. I that scary meh?!
Played Arcade with Wen Jie And Ethel. At one point, the game asked us to spell elephant and panda and etc... in JAPANESE?! So we don't know. But I LUCKY. At one point, I spelt WOMAN correctly! 10 points! Haha. Only 10 points, still lose.
I CAN SAY I DID MY HOMEWORK!! AHHHH.. I love you Aisyah. You keep getting better every day~!
My mother has the EXACT PHONE AS ME! It is like a nightmare come into reality.
I mean, seriously, why does she need all those functions for? I use them daily~ But my mom? A don't-know-wheres-the-camera whiz? And WHY the same phone?!!
See how it feels if someone else tries to imitate you, like wear the same clothing, or style the same hair as you, or just plain behaves like you?
How bout wearing your underwear?
Okay, that was too far-fetched, but still..
0_0
Nvm. At least can 3G call her, and prove to her I do eat at school. It's just a phone Aisyah, don't be such a dramafreak.
I can sense the sadness today, a lot of it. No, not from me, but from those close to me. It's strong.
I hope this is just a phase. Cause I never ever want to see 1A01, yes i hate 'B', to be so sad. Changing from a tight close group of friends, to just classmates and later associates.
PLEASE, NO.
If you want a listening ear, just tell me. My mind also very stm one, so tell me secret also I will forget, even when I keep it to myself.
1A01 brought so much confidence into me. I owe them a lot in ways I can never thank them.
I did tell XT I want to list down all the good things about every single person in our class. I still remember, and I am still trying.
The treat. I don't forget promises easily. But secrets, I will forget I even heard them.. A bit weird hor?
TODAY IS FUN FOR ME, even though I still can't help but worry for the others~
Ethel didn't come today. WTH? JK jk.. Rest well love? :)
Drama GEMS was crazy! Played with a lot of people, and did Improv. I actually realise how hard for me to trust other people. I really don't want other people to carry my burden, but want to carry theirs. It's a bit off, for a girl, don't ya think?
And I always resist any physical gratification so easily. What a reflex. Like even hugs and etc, I really have a hard time adjusting. I have to pretend I feel comfortable, I do like the physical affections, but whoa, my body wanna run away~
Blame those years of conditioning to society.
And I also realize how I naturally become the 'director' of any group. Good thing, but I still need to work on getting the groups to work together better. One guy is very cute.. Feel like pinching his cheeks! But just know him, so cannot. Must resist! MUST!
Become an AH LIAN for the Improv, and of course, I had no problem with that. Years of daily 'practice'. :P Even the teacher say I siao char bor. Whoa, if a drama teacher say that, I am off the limits already! BROKE RECORD. XD
But Simone is a damn good drama teacher. I wanna be just like her!
Maths was engaging for me, Cause I paid attention for once! (Hey, to the one beside me, is everything alright? You look troubled... Maybe its just me~ Rest well, and let it all out like you did before when singing wan ba dan & etc! haha! Smile again love! Anything call me! Of course, dun call at midnight lah.. I confirm dead like a log.)
And to 'dragonfly', I pray things get better for you okay dearie! If worse comes to worst, things don't work out, fate has a better plan! Don't give up, love~ YOU MUST SURVIVE! Cause I'm here! XDDDDD ~ Let's go rock out somewhere, let out all that stress!
To a drink : Why are you so emo today again? Couldn't help but worry. I am not close to you, but hey, as a friend, I still feel the pain. I hope everything gets better for you soon, whatever it is bothering you~ I'd rather you call me shit than see you shut down like that.
Hey everyone! Let's go do some halloween dressing up! Yi Zhen's invited me, and I invite you all! Just dress up on halloween day! I want to change my eyes to all black or white.. Will be nice sehh.. Scare everyone.. :P
Imagine, talking to a cute guy with your own eyes all black or white, no pupil at all? Crazy shit!!!
WEBP was eassyyy!! The easiest lesson ever. Like 1+1 = 2 !!! Woah, my blog can have a lot of..
Oh god, how am I gonna laugh tomorrow? Squeak, squeak?
And I am so sorry guys, I am grumpy in front of my loveliest friends.
Ethel , Jia Jun, Mei Peng, Phoebe, Xiang Ting ..
I broke my promise. I didn't want to be emo at all this semester. At least, not show it to you guys in such a manner. I tried my best to hide it. I was so ready to scream at that moment, when I said I was ' Tired.'. I was and more.
I had to come to terms with a crushing fact.
Sorry.
Both to you, and to me.
-------------
Drama was fun! Made me lose my voice. Wish I could blog about how Kelvin, my 'best' friend made me pai seh by making me act as a girl having a mega Orgasm.
I tried to unleash my 'sexy' side,... and it came out wrong.
Oh my god.. :)
I just have no mood right now.
Voice come back... Aisyah come back... Siti, heal.
Right now in class, watching cleaners cleaning the class. Kind of interesting cause they still use the same dirty cloth for a lot of things. And, their focus, whoa, talk about being present in the moment.
Today, class should start at 8:30 right?
I came at 8, so convinced that I was late. I came into the class, and wow, it was so brightly empty. I panicked, thinking that the class might have forgotten to inform me that theres no class today. I checked the location of the class on the timetable. I looked at the class's door. Correct what? So, what's the problem here? I started calling some of my friends, hoping they would pick up. Looking back, thankfully, they didn't pick up. If not paiseh siah.
Then, a voice whispers.. 'What about the time?'
So, I go and check.
FUCK! was the word that came across my mind.
Its 8:30 and here I am sweating and panicking, thinking I came to school for nothing. Well, I'll just have to wait for the others to come I guess. I am still stuck in my semester one life. All that drawing, and stsb.. MISS THEM LOADS.
Watching movies.. Damn, come back Mr Teo Eng Tiong!
Sian. Still waiting for them. Planning for what food to eat right now and later on.
Quite disappointed. XT doesn't like Supreme - Robbie Williams. I think its really lovely song, with beautiful lyrics. Too bad, different tastes.. :)
I am so proud I ran a lot of rounds at the park today. Leg aching, but whole day I am full of energy. Just don't know what to play or who to play with only. So I look a bit normal today.
Today had CD lesson. Wow, talk a lot about beliefs and values. Anything to do with the mind fascinates me. Telekinesis, psychic, subconscious mind, and the power of beliefs attract my attention like a perfect man can. I have been continually seeking to improve myself, trying to master my mind. Cause afterall, I am not my mind. I am just me. Not my mind. Sometimes, when you want to do something, the mind keeps chattering.
I just let my mind chatter away. Ignore it. And I start to hear the other voice. The small, gentle but still a voice that whispers to me. And I follow it. It makes so much difference. My mind can really suck.
Well, some might find the CD lesson boring. I see the power in it. If she could just explain more about 'The Map Is Not The Territory', the class would be much better. And co-incidentally, probably not, my email talks about this. Just received the email today. Wow. Haha!
Scroll until the end of quote if not interested~
One of the main principles of NLP is that THE MAP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE TERRITORY.
Boiled down to its essence, this means that the feelings and perceptions you have are ENTIRELY dependent on the perspective that you take. Each perspective gives you a COMPLETELY new set of opinions, thoughts, and feelings about that particular situation.
For example, a MAP of the Rocky Mountains looks VERY different from the way those exact same mountains look when you're standing amongst them on a nature walk, strolling around and staring up at the craggy peaks, right?
Your PERSPECTIVE has changed - and with it change your observations, impressions, and reactions.
In order to change the way that you feel about areas of your life that are causing you bother at the moment, you need to reframe your perspective so that you can ACTIVELY CHANGE the emotions and reactions that you have. What you need to do, specifically, is change your role from PARTICIPATOR to OBSERVER.
When you're PARTICIPATING mentally and emotionally in a situation, your reactions are bound entirely to the outcome of that situation. You're at the mercy of random chance.
On the other hand, if you take steps to mentally and emotionally remove yourself from a situation that is causing you anxiety, stress, or fear, you're able to relax and neutrally observe what happens. You don't experience any of the physical symptoms of stress, like sweaty palms, nausea, or a dry mouth - because that situation's not happening to YOU. It's happening to somebody else.
-Mirabelle Summers
Well, if you want to know more, just request by email~ (don't think you would, would you? :P)
After optical illusions, and belief systems, I was told no java today! HAPPY and sian. Cause laptop bring for nothing. But of course, away from all those java codes even for a day, is BLISS, baby!
Eat, and Phoebe made me really laugh today. Cause I was so bored during lunch.
I ask Aini
Me: "How was your weekend?" Aini: "HUH? Erm, it was fine?" Phoebe: " Haha! You really have nothing to talk about don't you?!" Me: *nods while laughing* Aini: "Yah! Who ask like that?"
And then the group conversation gets more livelier. Thanks Phoebe! :D
Went to the mug with the usual peeps, Cheryl, Ethel, Jia Jun Sebastian and Erra tag along too! Couldn't think of anything much for DVDE. I was confused and fed up. Explanation for the poster is just so vague! Nature has so many things, can I just draw one mega frog? Decided to choose Poster 2, much more easier. All about just one thing, "FREE APPRECIATION WALK".
Someone was emo-ing a bit too long today...
And I am going to ask MR Faizal if I can do a scene of pots in my kitchen. So many scratches, and lighting, plus reflection. Five objects, just nice. :D Confirm easy and real-looking.
wanna blog more. momma scream scream.
if i had powers, i wish she can only whisper. sure loud enough le.
The only music thats making me feel a tad better. Freaked out, dreamt my own death. A door, with a bright light emanating through. A hand pulling me in, my hair swirling beside me. I had no voice at all, even when I know I am screaming. At least, I was trying to. I didn' t know, it was kind of weird. And I saw..
Oh god. It's painful to remember. Dying like that. Is that how dying would be? Why am I so scared of dying? And why am I so obsessed about the topic.
I lie on my bed yesterday. I thought about my life, how many times I've wasted my heart, my energy. I think about why am I going for dreams. How I let myself get trampled by others. I could feel my other self, the stronger side, crying over what I've done to myself. I know I could have done better, have a life of my own, worked harder and have my own love life.
I sucked my own life away. Sad.
Why do I always want someone to see the good side of me? Why do I insist to treat my enemies better than my friends, in hopes that they would be my friend? Why am I so naive? Haven't the news proved how cold the world can be?
I guess I am desperate to cling to the hope, that someday, the world will be much warmer, kinder and less polluted.
I am feeling freaking cold right now. And cold in my heart too.
Pain, numbness. Ignorance is building again. My anger is burning my own self.
No mood to do DVDE anymore. No mood to talk to anyone.
Gotta put on a face, don't wanna disappoint myself in front of you.
Damn. Hard.
I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.
Heard this beautiful music by Nightwish- While your lips are still red.
My life motto : Be Aware, Be Alive, and Learn to let go. = ALL.
Sweet little words made for silence Not talk Young heart for love Not heartache Dark hair for catching the wind Not to veil the sight of a cold world
Kiss while your lips are still red While he`s still silent Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled Hold another hand while the hand`s still without a tool Drown into eyes while they`re still blind Love while the night still hides the withering dawn
First day of love never comes back A passionate hour`s never a wasted one The violin, the poet`s hand, Every thawing heart plays your theme with care
Thanks Yi Zhen for introducing them to me! Two of their songs are my favourite.
'While Your Lips Are Still Red' touches me deeply. I am someone who thinks about death very often. No, not because I want to die, but because I realize how little time one actually have, even if our chances of going old is very high. What happens if the other one dies? What if you'll never get to see the one you love the next hour?
What would you do to make a difference?
Whenever I get too stress about anything, I remember the music, and I remember about the fragility of life. Its easy to be deluded into thinking about the importance of materialism and power. Yes, those are important. But, there are other things that are of equal importance, maybe more.
Like that little child, lost, hoping someone who could return him/her to the parents. Like that quiet girl in the corner, too shy to speak up in fear of rejection. Like that boy who seeks attention because deep inside, he feels insecure. Like those homeless, happy just to survive another day.
Like that friend of yours whom you took for granted. Like how you hurt your parents feelings, in ways you'll never understand.
That's why sometimes its easy for me to cry. To just shut down and just look at those I love and think, 'Wow, I've come a long way. What if I had given up a little too soon? Where would they end up at? '
It's scary to think how I almost end it all.
People and memories sometimes don't last. But if I just stay alive in every moment, it will freeze forever in the pages of time. And stay in the back of my mind.
I hope you do too, be alive in every moment, be aware of the unknown, and let go of things that hurt you.
I had the best time of my life this week! The feeling only celebrity gets! Cause I literally just open up to my friends/classmates of 1A01. OOPS, its 1B01 this time, thanks to 'sem 2'. And oh my lappy is going to be my favourite friend. I will be with her for like, every school day.
I should ask her(my lappy) to lose some weight. And maybe walk on her own. Can't expect me to 'babysit' her all the time do we?
Highlights of Best Times:
Obama Outburst - Sudden love for Obama during CD lesson. HAHA! Obaisyah! Presentation Moment /OC- making (almost) everyone laugh , a huge feat for me! Another presentation moment/IDEA - The invention of Projector Water Cooler! KBOX - angsty Xiang Ting and the sudden appearance of MR BOING BOING. =X Maya - Everyone making my 'Shitty' name ever more popular. :P Someone starting to talk to me more. Happy... Playing Scissors.Paper.Stones all the way from foodcourt 5 to club room. Best game ever! Thx Ethel! GEM Improv class - Met new cool stylo people to be crazy with!
Wow. Those are just the highlights you know? Thanks guys and ladies! Beautiful moments. Now I can remember these times when I grow old. :P Hope we all can stick together even when we are old. Please?
01 class is love.
I am more hyper nowadays cause I could actually tap into the inner connection that we all have between humans. I had what you would called a quantum leap. I read this quote.
"Everyone you meet in your life — even total strangers — is already intimately connected to you. The idea that we are all separate and distinct beings is nothing but an illusion. We are all parts of a larger whole, like individual cells in a body."
Oneness - Other people are not separate and distinct from you. In fact, they are you.
Connectedness - You don’t have to “build” relationships with others because you’re already connected. You need only tune into the pre-existing connection that’s already there.
No risk - Little or no courage is required to approach strangers. You’re never actually building new connections from scratch. You’re just recognizing what’s already there.
Equality - You can feel just as close to total strangers as you do to your friends.
Significance - All relationships are significant; none are irrelevant. Even the strangers you pass on the street are important parts of you.
Love without attachment - Letting go of harmful relationships is easier because you’re still unconditionally connected to everyone else. As you release old relationships that no longer serve you, you’ll attract new ones that are compatible with you.
-Stevepavlina.com
I can connect with more people, through my heart. Definitely better than 'thinking'. Tired of brainstorming what I should say next, or how I look like.. or what the other is thinking. Soulful relationships definitely fill up the hole inside of me. I hate worrying that he/she might not classify me as 'Close Friends' which would make me like a dumbass.
WORRY = MY ENEMY.
I used to self-indulge myself in my pain. At least with pain, I can feel more human. Numbness cripples me, and tears a bigger hole in the fabric of my soul. That's why, whenever I am empty inside, I hurt myself. Or just think about something harmful to my mental health. Crazy? Yes. Feels-good-to-me? Definitely.
Well, going to start maintaning my exercise program and... have fun doing my homework!!
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back. Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
I'm taking the drug again. His lips, Red-hot and dewy. Reflecting the moonlight, Mashing up my memories, Smashing my conscience into million smithereens.
Gashes re-bleed, but I am empty. A slash for a kiss, seems fair.
PEOPLE SELLING GREEN PLAIN TANK TOP, PLEASE TAG ME. Thanks!
Its a really cute video of people smiling! Made my day. AND the class outing is hilarious!
:) Misses to those that never come~
I think some people hate me already. XD
I wanted to buy milo. The whole group then suggested NTUC. I said, "No, I want McDonald kind!" They say " Okay, lets go NTUC!" I said, "No, MAC!" They: "Milo right? NTUC lah!" I said: MAC Milo! Ethel: NTUC got a lot of packet packet one.
:D
Then I wait until everyone go to NTUC before I blurt out, ME: I want MacDonald Milo. They: OHHHH..
XD.
They had to go all the way out, and up and down just to get my milo.
Sorry! & Thanks guys! <3> Woman: If you don't want to watch the movie, you can get out of here. The Bastards: *silence*
A few moments later, they are giggling. Sometimes I wonder if boys can be bimbos.
Bird bird keep protecting himself. I that scary meh?!
Played Arcade with Wen Jie And Ethel. At one point, the game asked us to spell elephant and panda and etc... in JAPANESE?! So we don't know. But I LUCKY. At one point, I spelt WOMAN correctly! 10 points! Haha. Only 10 points, still lose.
I CAN SAY I DID MY HOMEWORK!! AHHHH.. I love you Aisyah. You keep getting better every day~!
My mother has the EXACT PHONE AS ME! It is like a nightmare come into reality.
I mean, seriously, why does she need all those functions for? I use them daily~ But my mom? A don't-know-wheres-the-camera whiz? And WHY the same phone?!!
See how it feels if someone else tries to imitate you, like wear the same clothing, or style the same hair as you, or just plain behaves like you?
How bout wearing your underwear?
Okay, that was too far-fetched, but still..
0_0
Nvm. At least can 3G call her, and prove to her I do eat at school. It's just a phone Aisyah, don't be such a dramafreak.
I can sense the sadness today, a lot of it. No, not from me, but from those close to me. It's strong.
I hope this is just a phase. Cause I never ever want to see 1A01, yes i hate 'B', to be so sad. Changing from a tight close group of friends, to just classmates and later associates.
PLEASE, NO.
If you want a listening ear, just tell me. My mind also very stm one, so tell me secret also I will forget, even when I keep it to myself.
1A01 brought so much confidence into me. I owe them a lot in ways I can never thank them.
I did tell XT I want to list down all the good things about every single person in our class. I still remember, and I am still trying.
The treat. I don't forget promises easily. But secrets, I will forget I even heard them.. A bit weird hor?
TODAY IS FUN FOR ME, even though I still can't help but worry for the others~
Ethel didn't come today. WTH? JK jk.. Rest well love? :)
Drama GEMS was crazy! Played with a lot of people, and did Improv. I actually realise how hard for me to trust other people. I really don't want other people to carry my burden, but want to carry theirs. It's a bit off, for a girl, don't ya think?
And I always resist any physical gratification so easily. What a reflex. Like even hugs and etc, I really have a hard time adjusting. I have to pretend I feel comfortable, I do like the physical affections, but whoa, my body wanna run away~
Blame those years of conditioning to society.
And I also realize how I naturally become the 'director' of any group. Good thing, but I still need to work on getting the groups to work together better. One guy is very cute.. Feel like pinching his cheeks! But just know him, so cannot. Must resist! MUST!
Become an AH LIAN for the Improv, and of course, I had no problem with that. Years of daily 'practice'. :P Even the teacher say I siao char bor. Whoa, if a drama teacher say that, I am off the limits already! BROKE RECORD. XD
But Simone is a damn good drama teacher. I wanna be just like her!
Maths was engaging for me, Cause I paid attention for once! (Hey, to the one beside me, is everything alright? You look troubled... Maybe its just me~ Rest well, and let it all out like you did before when singing wan ba dan & etc! haha! Smile again love! Anything call me! Of course, dun call at midnight lah.. I confirm dead like a log.)
And to 'dragonfly', I pray things get better for you okay dearie! If worse comes to worst, things don't work out, fate has a better plan! Don't give up, love~ YOU MUST SURVIVE! Cause I'm here! XDDDDD ~ Let's go rock out somewhere, let out all that stress!
To a drink : Why are you so emo today again? Couldn't help but worry. I am not close to you, but hey, as a friend, I still feel the pain. I hope everything gets better for you soon, whatever it is bothering you~ I'd rather you call me shit than see you shut down like that.
Hey everyone! Let's go do some halloween dressing up! Yi Zhen's invited me, and I invite you all! Just dress up on halloween day! I want to change my eyes to all black or white.. Will be nice sehh.. Scare everyone.. :P
Imagine, talking to a cute guy with your own eyes all black or white, no pupil at all? Crazy shit!!!
WEBP was eassyyy!! The easiest lesson ever. Like 1+1 = 2 !!! Woah, my blog can have a lot of..
Oh god, how am I gonna laugh tomorrow? Squeak, squeak?
And I am so sorry guys, I am grumpy in front of my loveliest friends.
Ethel , Jia Jun, Mei Peng, Phoebe, Xiang Ting ..
I broke my promise. I didn't want to be emo at all this semester. At least, not show it to you guys in such a manner. I tried my best to hide it. I was so ready to scream at that moment, when I said I was ' Tired.'. I was and more.
I had to come to terms with a crushing fact.
Sorry.
Both to you, and to me.
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Drama was fun! Made me lose my voice. Wish I could blog about how Kelvin, my 'best' friend made me pai seh by making me act as a girl having a mega Orgasm.
I tried to unleash my 'sexy' side,... and it came out wrong.
Oh my god.. :)
I just have no mood right now.
Voice come back... Aisyah come back... Siti, heal.
Right now in class, watching cleaners cleaning the class. Kind of interesting cause they still use the same dirty cloth for a lot of things. And, their focus, whoa, talk about being present in the moment.
Today, class should start at 8:30 right?
I came at 8, so convinced that I was late. I came into the class, and wow, it was so brightly empty. I panicked, thinking that the class might have forgotten to inform me that theres no class today. I checked the location of the class on the timetable. I looked at the class's door. Correct what? So, what's the problem here? I started calling some of my friends, hoping they would pick up. Looking back, thankfully, they didn't pick up. If not paiseh siah.
Then, a voice whispers.. 'What about the time?'
So, I go and check.
FUCK! was the word that came across my mind.
Its 8:30 and here I am sweating and panicking, thinking I came to school for nothing. Well, I'll just have to wait for the others to come I guess. I am still stuck in my semester one life. All that drawing, and stsb.. MISS THEM LOADS.
Watching movies.. Damn, come back Mr Teo Eng Tiong!
Sian. Still waiting for them. Planning for what food to eat right now and later on.
Quite disappointed. XT doesn't like Supreme - Robbie Williams. I think its really lovely song, with beautiful lyrics. Too bad, different tastes.. :)
I am so proud I ran a lot of rounds at the park today. Leg aching, but whole day I am full of energy. Just don't know what to play or who to play with only. So I look a bit normal today.
Today had CD lesson. Wow, talk a lot about beliefs and values. Anything to do with the mind fascinates me. Telekinesis, psychic, subconscious mind, and the power of beliefs attract my attention like a perfect man can. I have been continually seeking to improve myself, trying to master my mind. Cause afterall, I am not my mind. I am just me. Not my mind. Sometimes, when you want to do something, the mind keeps chattering.
I just let my mind chatter away. Ignore it. And I start to hear the other voice. The small, gentle but still a voice that whispers to me. And I follow it. It makes so much difference. My mind can really suck.
Well, some might find the CD lesson boring. I see the power in it. If she could just explain more about 'The Map Is Not The Territory', the class would be much better. And co-incidentally, probably not, my email talks about this. Just received the email today. Wow. Haha!
Scroll until the end of quote if not interested~
One of the main principles of NLP is that THE MAP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE TERRITORY.
Boiled down to its essence, this means that the feelings and perceptions you have are ENTIRELY dependent on the perspective that you take. Each perspective gives you a COMPLETELY new set of opinions, thoughts, and feelings about that particular situation.
For example, a MAP of the Rocky Mountains looks VERY different from the way those exact same mountains look when you're standing amongst them on a nature walk, strolling around and staring up at the craggy peaks, right?
Your PERSPECTIVE has changed - and with it change your observations, impressions, and reactions.
In order to change the way that you feel about areas of your life that are causing you bother at the moment, you need to reframe your perspective so that you can ACTIVELY CHANGE the emotions and reactions that you have. What you need to do, specifically, is change your role from PARTICIPATOR to OBSERVER.
When you're PARTICIPATING mentally and emotionally in a situation, your reactions are bound entirely to the outcome of that situation. You're at the mercy of random chance.
On the other hand, if you take steps to mentally and emotionally remove yourself from a situation that is causing you anxiety, stress, or fear, you're able to relax and neutrally observe what happens. You don't experience any of the physical symptoms of stress, like sweaty palms, nausea, or a dry mouth - because that situation's not happening to YOU. It's happening to somebody else.
-Mirabelle Summers
Well, if you want to know more, just request by email~ (don't think you would, would you? :P)
After optical illusions, and belief systems, I was told no java today! HAPPY and sian. Cause laptop bring for nothing. But of course, away from all those java codes even for a day, is BLISS, baby!
Eat, and Phoebe made me really laugh today. Cause I was so bored during lunch.
I ask Aini
Me: "How was your weekend?" Aini: "HUH? Erm, it was fine?" Phoebe: " Haha! You really have nothing to talk about don't you?!" Me: *nods while laughing* Aini: "Yah! Who ask like that?"
And then the group conversation gets more livelier. Thanks Phoebe! :D
Went to the mug with the usual peeps, Cheryl, Ethel, Jia Jun Sebastian and Erra tag along too! Couldn't think of anything much for DVDE. I was confused and fed up. Explanation for the poster is just so vague! Nature has so many things, can I just draw one mega frog? Decided to choose Poster 2, much more easier. All about just one thing, "FREE APPRECIATION WALK".
Someone was emo-ing a bit too long today...
And I am going to ask MR Faizal if I can do a scene of pots in my kitchen. So many scratches, and lighting, plus reflection. Five objects, just nice. :D Confirm easy and real-looking.
wanna blog more. momma scream scream.
if i had powers, i wish she can only whisper. sure loud enough le.
The only music thats making me feel a tad better. Freaked out, dreamt my own death. A door, with a bright light emanating through. A hand pulling me in, my hair swirling beside me. I had no voice at all, even when I know I am screaming. At least, I was trying to. I didn' t know, it was kind of weird. And I saw..
Oh god. It's painful to remember. Dying like that. Is that how dying would be? Why am I so scared of dying? And why am I so obsessed about the topic.
I lie on my bed yesterday. I thought about my life, how many times I've wasted my heart, my energy. I think about why am I going for dreams. How I let myself get trampled by others. I could feel my other self, the stronger side, crying over what I've done to myself. I know I could have done better, have a life of my own, worked harder and have my own love life.
I sucked my own life away. Sad.
Why do I always want someone to see the good side of me? Why do I insist to treat my enemies better than my friends, in hopes that they would be my friend? Why am I so naive? Haven't the news proved how cold the world can be?
I guess I am desperate to cling to the hope, that someday, the world will be much warmer, kinder and less polluted.
I am feeling freaking cold right now. And cold in my heart too.
Pain, numbness. Ignorance is building again. My anger is burning my own self.
No mood to do DVDE anymore. No mood to talk to anyone.
Gotta put on a face, don't wanna disappoint myself in front of you.
Damn. Hard.
I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.I don't care. I don't care.
Heard this beautiful music by Nightwish- While your lips are still red.
My life motto : Be Aware, Be Alive, and Learn to let go. = ALL.
Sweet little words made for silence Not talk Young heart for love Not heartache Dark hair for catching the wind Not to veil the sight of a cold world
Kiss while your lips are still red While he`s still silent Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled Hold another hand while the hand`s still without a tool Drown into eyes while they`re still blind Love while the night still hides the withering dawn
First day of love never comes back A passionate hour`s never a wasted one The violin, the poet`s hand, Every thawing heart plays your theme with care
Thanks Yi Zhen for introducing them to me! Two of their songs are my favourite.
'While Your Lips Are Still Red' touches me deeply. I am someone who thinks about death very often. No, not because I want to die, but because I realize how little time one actually have, even if our chances of going old is very high. What happens if the other one dies? What if you'll never get to see the one you love the next hour?
What would you do to make a difference?
Whenever I get too stress about anything, I remember the music, and I remember about the fragility of life. Its easy to be deluded into thinking about the importance of materialism and power. Yes, those are important. But, there are other things that are of equal importance, maybe more.
Like that little child, lost, hoping someone who could return him/her to the parents. Like that quiet girl in the corner, too shy to speak up in fear of rejection. Like that boy who seeks attention because deep inside, he feels insecure. Like those homeless, happy just to survive another day.
Like that friend of yours whom you took for granted. Like how you hurt your parents feelings, in ways you'll never understand.
That's why sometimes its easy for me to cry. To just shut down and just look at those I love and think, 'Wow, I've come a long way. What if I had given up a little too soon? Where would they end up at? '
It's scary to think how I almost end it all.
People and memories sometimes don't last. But if I just stay alive in every moment, it will freeze forever in the pages of time. And stay in the back of my mind.
I hope you do too, be alive in every moment, be aware of the unknown, and let go of things that hurt you.
I had the best time of my life this week! The feeling only celebrity gets! Cause I literally just open up to my friends/classmates of 1A01. OOPS, its 1B01 this time, thanks to 'sem 2'. And oh my lappy is going to be my favourite friend. I will be with her for like, every school day.
I should ask her(my lappy) to lose some weight. And maybe walk on her own. Can't expect me to 'babysit' her all the time do we?
Highlights of Best Times:
Obama Outburst - Sudden love for Obama during CD lesson. HAHA! Obaisyah! Presentation Moment /OC- making (almost) everyone laugh , a huge feat for me! Another presentation moment/IDEA - The invention of Projector Water Cooler! KBOX - angsty Xiang Ting and the sudden appearance of MR BOING BOING. =X Maya - Everyone making my 'Shitty' name ever more popular. :P Someone starting to talk to me more. Happy... Playing Scissors.Paper.Stones all the way from foodcourt 5 to club room. Best game ever! Thx Ethel! GEM Improv class - Met new cool stylo people to be crazy with!
Wow. Those are just the highlights you know? Thanks guys and ladies! Beautiful moments. Now I can remember these times when I grow old. :P Hope we all can stick together even when we are old. Please?
01 class is love.
I am more hyper nowadays cause I could actually tap into the inner connection that we all have between humans. I had what you would called a quantum leap. I read this quote.
"Everyone you meet in your life — even total strangers — is already intimately connected to you. The idea that we are all separate and distinct beings is nothing but an illusion. We are all parts of a larger whole, like individual cells in a body."
Oneness - Other people are not separate and distinct from you. In fact, they are you.
Connectedness - You don’t have to “build” relationships with others because you’re already connected. You need only tune into the pre-existing connection that’s already there.
No risk - Little or no courage is required to approach strangers. You’re never actually building new connections from scratch. You’re just recognizing what’s already there.
Equality - You can feel just as close to total strangers as you do to your friends.
Significance - All relationships are significant; none are irrelevant. Even the strangers you pass on the street are important parts of you.
Love without attachment - Letting go of harmful relationships is easier because you’re still unconditionally connected to everyone else. As you release old relationships that no longer serve you, you’ll attract new ones that are compatible with you.
-Stevepavlina.com
I can connect with more people, through my heart. Definitely better than 'thinking'. Tired of brainstorming what I should say next, or how I look like.. or what the other is thinking. Soulful relationships definitely fill up the hole inside of me. I hate worrying that he/she might not classify me as 'Close Friends' which would make me like a dumbass.
WORRY = MY ENEMY.
I used to self-indulge myself in my pain. At least with pain, I can feel more human. Numbness cripples me, and tears a bigger hole in the fabric of my soul. That's why, whenever I am empty inside, I hurt myself. Or just think about something harmful to my mental health. Crazy? Yes. Feels-good-to-me? Definitely.
Well, going to start maintaning my exercise program and... have fun doing my homework!!
Jia you loves, we all can do it!
Mwah.
More About Me
Well, I love myself and sometimes I just wish I was like, Paris Hilton. Not PEREZ, that ugly journalist.
Anyway, I am pretty addicted to social life. I crave lazing around, and just hug everybody.
But of course, I don't dare to do that, cause people tend to assume wrong things.
I hate it when people like you and make you feel guilty, like it's your fault that they like you.
Get a grip, and all I wanted was just friendship.
Pretty much all of the things I do, I do sometimes out of fear, or love.
Usually its fear. But if I do the best things, it's love for sure.
"The Installation of Love"
