I just looked at SP and everything, timetables and exams. Oh god. I wish I could just lay off the depression I feel whenever I think about the exams. I just flunk my java so badly! Oh god, Mr Tan would be so disappointed. And I feel so ashame of MAYA. Something I like, and I just didn't do it well. Disappointed Mr Faizal .

Who's next?

I don't know. I am very disappointed with myself, for procastinating, for not prioritizing well. All I could think of was 'Lets have fun!' when my inner voice cries out for me to pay attention to my studies. Oh god, why didn't I listen?

Its like a vicious cycle.Everytime something fails, I feel so guilty, cry and blah blah. But when the real time comes to actually do it, I STILL FUCKING PROCASTINATE.

Seriously, what the fuck is my problem?

I keep holding myself again and again. PLEASE, I am crying out for someone to discipline me. I have tried again and again. I am just a sucker of temptations. Damn my cravings for internet, damn my cravings to blog, damn my cravings to stay high when there are better things to deal with, and damn my desire to impress him. And damn the naggings I hear at HOME, repeating that I am just a failure.

NOW, I AM FAILURE. HAPPY NOW? Fuck off. Fuck all you people that want me to fail. Just go somewhere better, like hell maybe?

I have read a lot of things on how to stop procastination. The key word is prioritize and cut the task up. I KNOW. I just know deep inside I don't want to follow the instructions. I feel so sick. I just don't like to do something I don't like. Thats just it. The reason I always procastinate, I don't like it. But I want to do it...

And the task, no matter big or small, just feels hard to do. Maybe I am just bloody lazy to visualize or something. Can I operate my mind now?

Angry angry angry.

Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad
Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad
Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad


Now I am whiner isn't it?

Way to go, girl! You did it again!

I just looked at SP and everything, timetables and exams. Oh god. I wish I could just lay off the depression I feel whenever I think about the exams. I just flunk my java so badly! Oh god, Mr Tan would be so disappointed. And I feel so ashame of MAYA. Something I like, and I just didn't do it well. Disappointed Mr Faizal .

Who's next?

I don't know. I am very disappointed with myself, for procastinating, for not prioritizing well. All I could think of was 'Lets have fun!' when my inner voice cries out for me to pay attention to my studies. Oh god, why didn't I listen?

Its like a vicious cycle.Everytime something fails, I feel so guilty, cry and blah blah. But when the real time comes to actually do it, I STILL FUCKING PROCASTINATE.

Seriously, what the fuck is my problem?

I keep holding myself again and again. PLEASE, I am crying out for someone to discipline me. I have tried again and again. I am just a sucker of temptations. Damn my cravings for internet, damn my cravings to blog, damn my cravings to stay high when there are better things to deal with, and damn my desire to impress him. And damn the naggings I hear at HOME, repeating that I am just a failure.

NOW, I AM FAILURE. HAPPY NOW? Fuck off. Fuck all you people that want me to fail. Just go somewhere better, like hell maybe?

I have read a lot of things on how to stop procastination. The key word is prioritize and cut the task up. I KNOW. I just know deep inside I don't want to follow the instructions. I feel so sick. I just don't like to do something I don't like. Thats just it. The reason I always procastinate, I don't like it. But I want to do it...

And the task, no matter big or small, just feels hard to do. Maybe I am just bloody lazy to visualize or something. Can I operate my mind now?

Angry angry angry.

Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad
Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad
Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad


Now I am whiner isn't it?

Way to go, girl! You did it again!